


Choices

by Harleythegeekqueen



Series: Choices [1]
Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon divergence 11x23, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 05:56:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11396697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harleythegeekqueen/pseuds/Harleythegeekqueen
Summary: The first attempt to stop Amara didn’t work so now with God on the verge of death it will require the sacrifice of a member of Team Free Will. However, the reader isn’t going to sit by idly allowing the man she loves to martyr himself again.





	Choices

    You watched warily as Billie the Reaper held onto the stone calling for more souls. Once it was filled she took off with her usual taunts to the Winchester. This was almost over and you could relax until Castiel spoke up saying they’d need someone with a personal connection to get close to Amara. Your heart fluttered as all eyes turned to Dean including your own. Rowena explained how they would sneak the bomb in except now the bomb would be Dean.

    “No, hell no!” You moved in front of Dean placing yourself between him and the others. “He’s not doing it!”

    “Y/N he’s the only one who can get close to her right now?” Castiel noted in a somber tone.

    “No, he isn’t, Cas!” You turned putting your finger at Chuck. “Amara wants him, send him in with the bomb strapped to him. He’s already dead anyway.”

     “She’ll expect it from him, Kitten,” you shoot Crowley a harsh glare before turning to Dean.

     “Please, Dean,” you had never told Dean how you felt always expecting there to be more time. You grabbed his hands, “Please don’t make yourself the martyr again! I need you, we need you. You’re not some grunt or blunt instrument. You don’t have to do this!”

     Dean looked at you with such pain as he pulled his hand away to cup your face, “I have to Princess. It’s my fault she was released and I can’t let her hurt anyone else. Please understand.”

     “I’ll never understand why you think your life is less important than anyone else’s Dean,” you spit pulling away just needing to be away from this. No one moves to stop you as you leave the war room heading for the kitchen. It’s nearly twenty minutes later when Sam finds you telling you they are heading out to Lawrence so Dean can say his goodbyes. At first, you ignore him swallowing down another glass of the whiskey you’d found. “I can’t say goodbye Sammy.” You are sobbing as Sam comes over pulling you into a hug, “I never told him. Why did I never tell him?”

     “I know kiddo. I’m sorry but don’t let him leave without saying goodbye.” Sam released you with a nod as he returned back to where everyone was waiting. Castiel squeezed your shoulder following the rest of the gang down the hall to the garage. Even though this was goodbye at least Dean could drive Baby one more time.

    “Y/N?” you turned as Dean came down the hall. “You’re not coming?”

    “No I’d rather stay here Dean,” you nodded as you wrung your hands in nervousness. “I’d rather just think that I’m waiting for you to come home.”

   Dean offered a weak smile before lifting his hand up pulling off the silver band he always wore. Your heart clutched as he pulled your hand up sliding it on your middle finger. It was still loose but less so. “There are things I’ve always wanted to say to you Y/N. I always made some excuses from your age to the life to well, well to me. It was stupid.”

   “Dean, what are you saying here?”

   He looked down swallowing, “I love you. God, I’ve loved you since I met you and I did nothing about it. If there were any other choice today I’d make it just so I could spend the rest of my life with you.”

    “ **If you really loved me there wouldn’t be a choice** , Dean,” you pulled your hand away. “I know you feel responsible for Amara but you didn’t have to be the one to do this.”

     “Y/N,” Dean started but you pressed your fingers to his lips silencing him. Being angry at Dean would only eat away the time you had left. You pulled your hand away and threw your arms around Dean’s neck and pressed your lips to his. He immediately relaxed into the kiss and held you until the need for air was greater but only pulled away enough to look at you. Dean’s eyes were red with unshed tears. “I’m an idiot.”

    I chuckled, “Uncle Bobby told me you were a long time ago. I should’ve listened and save myself all this pain.”

    “Thank you Y/N,” Dean kissed your forehead once more before he pulled away. “I’m sorry we didn’t have more time.”

    Dean moved past me heading in the direction of the garage. If this was it then now was the time, “Dean!” He stopped turning once more, “You should know that I am deeply in love with you.”

     He smiles, “I know. Stay safe, Princess.”

     “I’ll see you when you get home Dean,” you bite your lip to keep it from trembling. A tear falls on Dean’s face as he turns without another word vanishing into the garage. Moments later the roar of the Impala echoes and then fades as they head to Lawrence. You stand there for a while just waiting to see if they will return but they don’t. Fidgeting with the ring now on your hand you turn heading back to your bedroom. Dean’s room is across from yours so you duck in there instead of your own. Nothing looked touched and the scent of Dean hangs in the air. Looking over at the desk Dean had a black and white flannel hanging on the chair which you picked up slipping it on before crawling into Dean’s bed. You snuggled in deeper allowing his scent to pull you under into a restless sleep. At least in sleep, you would still have him.


End file.
